Monday, July 03, 2006
Waxing sentimental at 2:00 AM

My last post was meant to get over the guilt I felt from shouting at Dan. The sucky part is that he's not even old enough to fully understand that I'm sorry, at least verbally. It'll have to be done with gestures of affection and such. It brings tears to my eyes when I look at that innocent face; that malleable mind before me that'll take shape depending on how I treat him. I didn't mean to be so angry, it just gets the best of me sometimes. Honestly, I just don't want to screw him up, that's all. The last paragraph in my previous entry is what keeps the guilt from consuming me.

Growing up, I *never* experienced any lack of convenience in my life - none at all (in spite of the times I thought I was). Ni minsan akong nakaranas ng gutom o kahirapan. Thanks to Mom and Dad. At yun ang ibibigay ko sa yo.

I'm considering the possibility of having you read this when you're old enough. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. I only want to give you the life I had. I just hope you'd also get all teary-eyed when you think about all that your Mom and I did for you. Just like I am with Mama Tess and Papa Ted.

Raising a kid will help you know what your true limits are, and give you the strength to surpass them. A gift they truly are, for it is through them that inspires you to be a better version of yourself.

5 comments:

houseband00 said...

Ok, lang yan maging stern, Marko. Natural lang yan. Just don't make it a habit.

Pauline said...

Hay naku Marko, hindi naman nahihirapan si Dan a! Feeling ko nga sobra sobra yung mga bagay na meron cya...swerte nga cya kse tatay ka nya e.

Orange76 said...

:) I cannot say that I know what you're going through, but I know enough when you'd like to give someone dear to you all that you can to make sure their lives will be smooth sailing. If it weren't hard, life wouldn't be worth living.

NemoLee said...

naku .. believe me I've had my bursts of emotion din ... it happens .. am not saying its RIGHT but we all go thru that... It consumes us with guilt knowing that they're SIMPLY unaware of what they're doing ... we all have a melting point.

marko said...

thanks for your comments :)

"Just don't make it a habit."
- agreed.

"swerte nga cya kse tatay ka nya e."
- feels the other way around.

"If it weren't hard, life wouldn't be worth living."
- you couldn't be more right.

"we all have a melting point."
- glad I'm not the only one :/