Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Nginiig: The scripted files

What's worse than a run-the-mill, hackeneyed "reality" show? A cheap rip-off of a run-the-mill, hackeneyed "reality" show. A pathetic attempt to imitate its western versions (like scariest places on earth), this show didn't catch my attention at first, but it pissed me off after seeing a couple of episodes.

This is another of ABS-CBN's contribution to the saturated "reality" market. Since I'm sick of these type of shows invading the airwaves, seeing this travesty just makes me all the more sick. Oh, the intensity of raw, shaky footage! Why do people gobble up this stuff? OMFG the night vision makes their eyes look freaky and shit! Oooh, someone is crying, such significance! Just because footage is raw, it doesn't mean you can't edit it to bend the truth, and then package it with this "reality" crap. I appreciated what the Blair Witch Project did (with its own flaws), but the concept has been whored out by the local media giants.

The introductory dialgoue between the three guys at the start and in between the actual program is more fake than Pamela Anderson's enhancements. God, why don't you just whip out the script and read the lines to each other, please. Reality? Riggghhhhhht. And one of those "questors" wearing those geeky emo glasses makes my eye twitch too. His so-called visions are cringe-worthy, to put it lightly. I can't stand to see him get all teary-eyed and nervous when he "senses" a presence, etc.

I've had supernatural experiences myself, and I am open to the fact that there are things that science can't explain. Our world has long been in existence before we came into the picture so there are forces beyond our understanding for now. But, come on, this show reeks of utter phoniness. A big middle finger goes out to the people that came up with this.

Friday, October 22, 2004

** ripped off this funny stuff from http://www.negativepositive.org/Things-that-need-to-die.html

I really don't mean to give rap so much attention, but once again, something made my eye twitch enough that I couldn't help myself. There's a video for this 50 Cent collaboration called G-Unit. The song is "Poppin Them Thangs," and yes, I know you're as impressed as I am with that title. Basically the checked box on the Formulaic Rap Video Construction form is C. "I'm a Mob Kingpin, so don't try to step or you'll get smacked down - note how nobody smiles ever - that means WE HARD." Of course, having the ability to rhyme words with other words makes you an unstoppable force in the underworld, able to strike fear in the hearts and command the respect of big time mob bosses. "Holy shit. He can rhyme FOCUS with LOCUST! Oh, man! He's got a big gold medallion... AND IT SPINS! That spinning medallion definitely makes him too HARD for our entire criminal organization to compete with. Don't mess!" There are subtitles at the bottom of the screen showing the dialogue between the various mob bosses. One of them says, "I don't approve of you. You are SHINNING a light into our darkness." Who fucking wrote these subtitles, Groundskeeper Willy? How could such a glaring spelling mistake slip by the hundreds of people who no doubt saw the completed video before its release? Wasn't there even ONE person who saw it and said,"Yo, dawg, dat's dope, yo, werd. But, yo! You misspelled 'shining'"? How could they spend millions on the production of the album and video and then hire some illiterate fuckass to write the subtitles? How? Because obviously all of the people involved in production of the video, especially the artists, ARE RETARDED. I caught the error the very first time I saw the video, and I was only watching it for the same reason I would listen to G. Gordon Liddy or Rush Limbaugh; to know more about what I think is stupid. If you're going to spend assloads of money, put it on MTV and BET and show it to millions of people on probably a half-hourly basis (on the rare occasions that they are actually showing music videos) wouldn't it make sense to proofread it to avoid looking like illiterate fucktards? There's no way you can play it off as the intentional misspelling that rappers always do, either. This isn't "dawgz," this is "SHINNING," I guess meaning "to SHIN." I guess when you're as stupid as G-Unit is anyway, literacy can't help or hurt your image. I wonder how many of their fans even noticed. I guess if you're stupid enough to think G-Unit is really cool, you're stupid enough to miss glaring spelling errors in bold capital letters at the bottom of your TV. In a way, though, I have to say I'm proud of G-Unit for employing people with physical disfigurements. Lloyd Banks proves that even if you have a hare lip and a lazy eye, you can make it as a big time rap star.

Side note: The other options on the Formulaic Rap Video Construction Form are:

A. "Gigantic party at a mansion with lots of money falling from the sky, lots of $200K+ cars parked out front and lots of girls in bikinis. Girl to guy ratio is 5/1. Everyone at the party is rich and black,"

B. "Getting chased by the cops in my Lamborghini talking on the cell phone while a hot chick or the album's producer is driving. Variation: Instead of cops chasing me in a Lamborghini, this could be interchanged with cruising in a Hummer limo and giving everyone 'the vapors,' Same shit, different vibe."

D. "Every girl in the club is mostly naked and very attractive and is so impressed by my jewelry that they're all competing to get to fuck me"

E. "Generic choreographed dance video with amorphous high contrast sets and possibly flood lights arranged to spell out the rapper's name,"

F. "Seemingly pedestrian environment such as a barber shop, diner, car wash, movie theatre, etc. where lots of hot chicks are dumping their boyfriends because my jewelry, car, clothes, etc. are so impressive that they just have to fuck me," G. "Here I am hanging out in a shitty neighborhood. This means I'm true to my roots, despite the fact that I arrived in a limo and will be going to a four star restaurant to eat foie gras and beluga caviar after the video shoot." (Default for all selections: Four or six point star filter used on camera lens in conjunction with bright lighting to make jewelry appear to sparkle blindingly.)


(I hate) Rappers who continually flaunt their jewelry, cars, cell phones, and women, implying somehow that their wealth is due to being some sort of criminal underworld power figure. Of course you have money! Of course you get laid! You're a multiplatinum MUSICIAN, numbnuts. If you put a potato on-stage in front of 10,000 people, SOMEONE would want to fuck it. Last time I checked, the job title "Musician" didn't make you a tough guy, though I feel myself straining calling someone a musician when their real job title should be "Inarticulate guy with an undeserved large ego who has friends in the music industry and puts on a mean face anytime someone puts a camera in front of him." Big Pun died of a heart attack? GO FIGURE! He was 675 pounds and STILL tried to brag about his sexual prowess. Ahh - money, jewelry, cars, guns, and sluts... what an endless source for creative, inspired music writing. (Insert 6 minutes of repeating unchanging sampled beatloop here).

Sunday, October 17, 2004
Rotting away

Reading too much highfiber is going to cost me in many ways. The IT guys here in the office will probably hang me to dry for all the supposedly prohibited browsing I've been doing. And to think that rumors were floating around work concerning what actions would be taken to punish our specific deaprtment for abusing our internet rigths. Hey IT guys, this post is a shining example of it! If it's not allowed, then block the sites you don't want us to go to (I'll proably eat those words sooner than I think). It's keeping me away from work, but there isn't any to be done at the moment (zero emails to answered in the queue). Still, I need to read up on some dusty emails sitting in my inbox which contain info on work-related updates, etc. The dark cloud of night-shift duty casts its obese shadow over me, and I've been so out of touch from the stuff I need to know during those unholy hours.

Now, I'm thinking: what if I actually took my Japanese studies (college course) seriously? What if I actually took the pains to learn the language beyond the basic structures and words (which really mean zilch in an actual conversation with a Japanese person or when trying to watch untranslated anime). I sometimes picutre myself as a fluent practitioner of nihonggo, able to strike up a conversation with a Japanese person. Man, imagine the money I'd be earning for doing cool shit like translating documents, or hanging out with business executives as an interpreter for hire. What could be more impressive than speaking and writing like a native!

But that's just me. I've applied numerous times for the Asia Pacific team here at work so that my work hours would be some thing like 6am-3pm. That way I'd have time to take nihonggo classes in the afternoon and really master my stuff. For all the Japanese history/economy/politics classes I took, I really don't recall much. Just bits and pieces to create the illusion that I'm a cultured fellow that's knowledgeable about such things. If I have any aspirations of actually applying my college course into something remotely lucrative, the language compnent is all I really have to go on. I guess I suffer from the rut of mediocrity that call center people experience, namely stuck in a job that has no relation to the stuff they took up in college.

Someday maybe, someday.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Hey guys,

I just added a nifty new feature to my blog - don't forget to vote.