A lot of things are getting me down today, mostly financially related. Sometimes I wish we could live in a Star Trek-like type of society where we don't need money at all and focus on the other things in life.
The credit card bill is knocking on my door once again. Good thing I got a cash incentive at work (for sticking around this long), which sadly seems destined to settle the plastic debt. Other obligations include the phone bill, milk/diapers, and the nanny's wages.
The car aircon is also acting up (i.e. not cold on a f@#$!ng hot day) hence the inevitable costly check up/repair. What sucks is that it might be related to the scrap metal mishap I had earlier this month. My mom-in-law said she saw something dripping under the car. Could it be a freon leak? Or is freon a gas...? Forgive my ignorance about these kind of things. I could ask my Dad to help out on the maintenance for the mehcanical beast of burden.
I was telling my friend in the U.S. about my problems (thank you IM)...and he told me, "chin up" (probably referring to that line from SpiderMan 2). Which reminds me that I didn't post any comments yet about the movie, which I loved. I've always loved Peter Parker's character (in and out of costume) because his everyday problems, coupled with his "other" duties, would have broken a lesser man. That's something that I really admire in him - and serves as an inspiration to me as well.
Well, at this point, I could use a smoke, but I'm still sick. And sick is costly too, when translated into medicine. Lemme tell ya, at this point in my life, it sucks to be sick. You can't do the things you need to do when you're not physically well. Bawal magkasakit.
That's what it feels like right now. As I'm typing this, my sinuses are clogged, my head is pounding, and it feels like my skull is going to crack open with every agonizing, phelgm-induced cough. Speaking of phlegm, the mucolytic I've been taking hasn't helped that much as every cough is nothing but pain. I can feel it holding steady in the depths of my chest each and the little bit of mucous that does come out sets my lungs on fire. Quite graphic, eh? Today's griping is not for the squeamish.
I've been coming to work sick these past few days, and I'm not getting any better. I can't come to work tomorrow; if I did, I'd be useless on the floor. Unless our customers want to speak to a coughing, wheezing agent that is the virtual picture of death.
We still need to instruct her in the fine art of changing diapers, preparing milk, and lulling the little one to sleep. For now her duties are limited to doing the laundry, ironing, and carrying the baby.
I remember a line from Riding in Cars With Boys where one mom said, "if we actutally felt how much we loved our kids, it would kill us". How true. When I'm at work, I can't bear the thought of not being with Dan, looking at his picture on my workstation. Lyn bought a nursery rhyme audio cassette for him that features this song that struck a nerve:
Listening and learning
With fun games to play and sing
I am learning everyday when i sing along and play
songs that help me think and learn and grow
Learning and listening
To songs that are fun to sing
There's so much to do and see
Come and sing along with me
Music helps me learn things, I should know
Now watch me grow
The masters of classroom songs
Chopin, Beethoven, Mozart, Gogh
My IQ is on the rise, with nursery rhymes and lullabyes
The great composers help my mind to grow
Listening and learning
With fun games to play and sing Iam learning everyday
When i sing along and play
Songs that help me think and learn and grow
Now watch me grow
The "watch me grow" part really pulled some heart strings. I felt as if Dan was singing the song to me. He's such a fragile little work of art; holding him in my arms triggers this side of me I never knew existed, or wasn't there before. I see a bit of myself in him, and see a bit of myself in my father at the same time. In my young life, this is such a strange revelation. I tried to anticipate all the cliches that come with fatherhood, but you honestly never know what it's like until you're there. Never.
So with that, I bid farewell for now: many emails to answer, and some other tasks to attend to.
Samus Aran will save us all
Memories of my childhood are punctuated with the greatest invention known to modern man: the Family Computer (known as the NES in western countries). Pathetic, I know. But come on, the classic games evoke a unique atmosphere of nostalgia. I cherish memories of staying up until 3am to beat the last boss in Megaman, Ninja Gaiden, etc. You might think it's just an indication of a sedentary lifestyle, but playing video games served as a common ground to meet other people. Yes, swapping war stories and game secrets helped foster bonds of friendship for me. A hobby that kept me off drugs (not that I was ever curious) can't be bad. I've been playing the old stuff lately, and let me tell you, it takes me back to many years ago. Braving the first level of Castlevania or Contra brought back memories of sharing good times with my buddies. It's a catalyst for the past, y'see...seeing the lo-res graphics, hearing the 8-bit music...
And that brings me to the point of this whole entry. I was searching the mighty Google for some MIDI music files for game Metroid today, and I found something better:
If you ever played this game as a kid, you will know what kind of gold I struck upon. These are heavy metal interpretations of the game's music. Hearing the opening theme was geeky and heavy at the same time. This lead me to search for other rock versions of video game soundtracks...and lo and behold, this is what I found:
Don't take my word for it. Have a listen and see what it does for you (if you're into this stuff).
Take for example one night last week when the car dragged a piece of what seemed to be scrap metal along the road. Lyn pointed it out and I just let it pass under nonchalantly, thinking it was just a wayward plastic bag along the road (it was dark, ok?). The horrible, sickening, grinding sound of metal against metal against ashpalt (that would be the car, piece of metal, and the road) proved me oh so very wrong. The scrap got caught somewhere in the underside of the car for about a few meters and let go after. To the best of my memory, the whole mishap took place in a span on 5-10 seconds - but of course the ordeal seemed longer. I have yet to have it checked although everything seems to be fine: brakes feel the same, gas is ok (not leaking, but the car does have an inaccurate gauge), steering ok. Sorry Dad, I didn't mean to really.
I was also thinking of submitting articles to magazines to supplment my income. My older sis was at ABS-CBN publishing before so I'll be using her connections to get my foot in the door...well maybe not exactly. She asked me to submit some samples of my work so she can show 'em to her contacts. Which I don't have of course. I could give the URL of this blog, but it's a bit personal. Or I could write something along the lines of being a new dad, or something related to that since My sis used to work for a parenting magazine. Ideas, anyone??
*sound of crickets chirping*
Ahhh...what else? Damn, I'm drawing a blank already. That's why it took me so long to post here again. Just at a time when I was thinking of doing writing on the side.