You know what? I'm not as pissed off as I may seem. It's just I don't write here until I am. It's just my release I guess. We all have different reasons why we post on our journals. But outside of my blog, I do experience a wider range of emotions beyond the steam I blow off here. I was upset yesterday because this PC of mine has been suddenly resetting by itself a few times in the past month or so. No error messages, when it comes back on though. Gino says it might be the power supply acting up, or maybe the processor overheating. Well, I did keep this box in a somewhat cramped space. So me and Lyn did a little bit of rearranging here to allow better ventilation for the computer.
What keeps my gut in worried little knots is that I haven't fully paid my mom back for this PC yet (just one-third by Monday). After that's out of the way, I have other overdue bills to pay, not to mention some car maintenance stuff as well. Oh well, it's only money right? Oh please dear computer of mine, don't flake out on me - give it a decade or so, ok? Pwede ba yun ha?
I know I should see the positive things in life, appreciate all the good stuff I have going for me. I should be happy that I work out of home. I should be grateful in spite of the fact that I'm always strapped for cash, I still have a warm bed and a hot meal to look forward to everyday. I should be happy that I'm surrounded by many people who care for me and go out of their way to make my life easier.
Many, many other people have it a lot worse than me...I know, I know. So why do I flip out when trouble comes along?
Several years ago (towards the end of my college days), I slowly resolved, little by little, to be an adult in the full sense of the word. Meaning that I should always find a way to meet any problems head-on, with drama and whining kept to a minimum. But you know what, you'd think after all this time I'd be like that by now. But no, I'm really not that type. Kahit ipilit ko pa sa sarili ko. I'm probably just better at hiding my flabbergast-ness now than I was before. I may have moments of crystal clear clarity from time to time, but on a general basis I throw a bitch fit (well, when no one's looking anyway). I guess I'm not as grown up as I thought I would be.
Maybe I need anger management classes or something. Going back to what I said, that's why I rant online. Everything seems peachier the morning after.
That is all.