Thursday, March 30, 2006
Thoughts in Bullet Point

*Checking the friendster profiles of the people I went to high school with gets me down most of the time. I knew I was going to regret it, I never learn. I know, I know. It's not good to be so hard on myself just because they happen to have reached a great level of success or that they look great. Any of the stuff I wanted to do, which I didn't do is my fault anyway. I could've done it if I wanted to before, but somehow I never got around to it. But come on, a PhD from a university in UK? Daaaamn. It really wouldn't be right to compare what I've done so far to that of my former classmates, etc. I tell myself that I shouldn't feel this way or that way because what I have now is important and precious. Another thing, seeing their posted pictures tell me they're happy and spend their time being out there and enjoying life...and not being pissed off. And then I look at the past entries in this blog.

*sigh*

*I can't help it sometimes. Well, it's better to vent here than to keep it bottled up I suppose. Nevertheless, a change in disposition is needed. Still need to do some growing up. Why am I depressed anyway? If I don't want to be this, *ahem*, healthy, then I should do something about it - and not mope around.

*Although I try to, I can't be one of those people who can be cool with other people's annoying habits, or when things don't turn out as planned. Especially with the latter. As with the former, I do my best not to care, but it drives me up the wall for crap's sake!

*Mr. Martinez, our next door neighbor, fellow DLSU alumnus, and our learning center's math expert, told me one time, "sometimes we have to do the things we don't want to do..." Actually, he said that to a student he was talking to when turned to me and said, "right Marko?" When he suddenly included me in the conversation, I felt that he appreciated where I am at this point in my life. He probably saw this young man, who had just gotten started on a long road paved with many responsibilities to fulfill. I dare say that he remembered the time when he was at my age, and echoed my own sentiments. I hope to reach his age, and to be that cheerful when I do.

2 comments:

Nemo Lee said...

I ever so know how you feel .. it will be better for us .. we have our kids to be proud of .. :) one day they will be PROUD of us .. as well. :)

marko said...

i can only hope so.