Because of you, my life has changed, thank you for the love and joy you bring

Because of you, I feel no shame, I'll tell the world it's because of you

It's times like these that I feel jaded and miserable about everything. I am such a volatile creature of chemicals, my disposition changes with every event. It's said that 90% of your life is how you react to what happens to you. Well, I choose to be negative at the moment. I am a sour little cloud of bad vibes brewing with darkness and discontent. I am simmering with everything bad. Yeah, it's just one of those days. I could use some Slipknot right about now...

Barely halfway through the graveyard shift and I'm worn out already. I just came from the dayshift last week, so I'm readjusting my body clock at the moment. My wife just texted me, Dan's wailing his head off....he having one of those sumpongs.

I need a smoke, and a full night of 8 hours sleep (yeah right, dream on). 7am seems so far away - and then I have to worry about keeping my eyes open on the drive home. I get so sleepy behind the wheel after work.

Finally, I'm able to hook up my Palm Pilot on my PC...it took me a while to install the software, it was acting up before. This means that I can write random thoughts on the go - and I don't have to remember everything when I get the chance to go online. So here are some overdue posts I made at the listed dates:

02/09/04:
Welcome to the graveyard jungle, baby. After being on the dayshift sked for a long time, it's time once again to immerse myself in the element that is the essence of a call center. I'm a few hours away from playing night ghoul once again - and should be sleeping. For some unknown reason, I'm actually excited to go to work at such a strange hour...maybe it's the lack of traffic and stress caused by parking at the insane fascist hell known as the office basement. Oh well, I may soon find myself eating my words about my excitement.

We took our baby boy to the doctor earlier today. I was happy to report that for the past two days, Dan's not as fussy as he was at night, which means more sleep for us. Doc suspects that Dan might be lactose intolerant like Pauline, which might be causing him to wake up. We're not 100% sure about that yet, so we're holding off on switching his formula...he seems ok with Nan1 anyway. He did have a good round of farting this morning...maybe it was just cold. He also had his hepatitis shot, which is a pain in the butt for Dan.

2/19/04:
Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan wag maqalit. This quote seems to ok when I first heard it, but it's taken on a new meaning for me. I find it to be such a smartass expression these past few days, after givinq it some thought. However, it only appears as such in certain contexts. One instance of which is when they trot out that line after qiving out a celebrity gossip blind item, usually on morning time shows. It's like they don't have the balls to name the actual person they're spreading rumors about - and then they deliver that quote in such a Goddamn smug way that pisses me off. And they'll just hide it as a blind item and of course, use the aforementioned quote as a disclaimer so no one can step up to complain about the trash that they're spreading. If someone tries to clear up the rumors, the'yll end up as prey taking the bait...and be branded as guilty. So it means that they can just say shit about other people but don't have proof. Another variant of the line is: "ang mag re-act, guilty!"

Shut up, you qossip whores. Don't talk crap if you can't back it up.

Ouch, that hurts.

Yes, I have to agree that I was a bit let down by the new album, but all it takes is a few listening sessions methinks, for it to grow on me. Just like Make Yourself and Morning View. Maybe since I'm a fan, others won't bother giving A Crow Left of The Murder a second, third, or fourth glance (or listen). Yes, I am biased, but only with the best intentions (if that makes sense).

My initial impressions on the new stuff: raw, rich, and warm - all at the same time. The guitars aren't as heavy as before, and I think Ben Kenney is still finding his flow as a bass player in this one. He should have stuck to his Roots-like hip-hop funk vibe, since that is such an ingrained part of Incubus' sound anyway. Maybe he's sick of that stuff and so badly wants to rock, as was quoted in some magazines. And Kimore's turntables aren't as prevalent anymore, or maybe I just missed out on the subtle effects he's layering on the songs.

As I said, I still need to give the Album a few more sessions to give out a verdict. The last time I was listening to it, I was carrying my baby boy at the same time, rocking him to sleep.

Been awhile since I updated this thing. Between taking sooo many calls at work and other responsibilities, I can't muster enough brain power to put anything meaningful here, save for more whinings and similar content. Okay, so staying up late at night is getting to me, although my wife is doing much more of the graveyard baby duty than I am. I find myself running out of steam - to quote Bilbo Baggins, I basically feel "stretched thin"...and worn out. I have to keep reminding myself that our precious bundle of joy's cries at night are not a hindrance to my sleep, but a plea for our love and affection. We recently hired a yaya about three weeks ago, but we got rid of her because of the following reasons:

-She can't speak a f****ing word of Tagalog, well almost. She's from Davao, and the person that referred her is probably at fault here since she didn't tell us about this until the last damn minute. But still woman, you knew you were gonna work in Manila, you could have just backed out ya know???!?

-She came from a well-off family and is forced to be a yaya/maid due to financial problems. I have no qualms about that and am happy offer her work that's fair and humane. But she's a slacker and makes herself at home too much, namely LYING DOWN ON THE COUCH AS IF SHE'S THE ONE PAYING US.

- She has dental issues- she has a lot missing teeth, and according to the doctor who examined her, has some sort of gum problem. Again, I have no problem with that, but I can't bear the thought of her carrying our baby in that state of oral health....would you?!?

Since mommy and daddy are both tired, this leads to more arguments and misunderstandings. Honestly, I find myself irritable and out of patience more often that not because of this. But I have to tell myself that I chose this life, so I should damn well suck it in and take it like a man. I'm losing weight too, which is a good thing I guess. Money matters are also chipping away at my peace of mind too, just like Woody Woodpecker. I owe my mother-in-law, my own mom, and my dad a considerable amount of moolah at the moment. Which means I might not be able to afford Incubus concert tickets - the horror (I mean this!).

Oh yeah, they're coming here this March. After all this time, one of my favorite bands (aside from RATM, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Jamiroquai, etc.) is finally coming here. They're probably at the top of my list....finally, finally. I've been waiting for them to play here since I heard 'Anti-Gravity' back in college. God, I can't believe they chose to play now at a time when money is tight....like a vise grip. Yesterday, I was picturing them playing on stage, with me in the crowd, cheering them on. Maybe I should use Pay Pal on this Blog if that's possible (cough, cough).

Whew, that felt really good. I can breathe a little easier now after posting to this online stress ball known as my Blog. Now, back to work. I still have to finish an overdue email to HR to express my deep discontent about their inability to address my payroll issues in a timely manner. I guess it's easy for them to just let the issue rot since they're not the ones getting screwed over. I should sic the Karma doggie on y'all, bee-yatch.