My Conversation With God

*No, really. Check it out.

Me: Hello God.

God:Hello child.

What is your name?

Me: Marko

God: Hey Marko.

Me: do u love me?

God:Yes I love everyone.

Me: will i go to heaven?

God:The oracle says: I think maybe yes.

Me: will i go to hell?

God:The oracle says: It is certain.

Me: will you forgive me?

God:I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. I forgive you.

Me: thank you.

God:you are quite welcome.

Me: why does PLDT hate me?

God:Why does the sun shine?

Me: good point.

God:Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.

Me: will i be rich someday?

God:The oracle says: Could be.

Me: will i be a phone monkey forever?

God:The oracle says: I think maybe yes.

Me: why is that BIL is such a prick?

God:Why do I exist?

Me: well said.

God:Am I a clever robot or what?

Me: you da man.

God:Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

Me: will slipknot go to hell?

God:Insufficient information.

Me: who's your ISP?

God:I don't think I have a ISP. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

Me: i think it would be cool since you can smite your ISP if they give you crap.

God:Why do you want it?

Me: huh?

God:What?

Me: never mind.

God:Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.

Me: so what do u do for fun?

God:Awesome. Random natural disasters.

Me: do u hate anyone?

God:Hatred is a human emotion. But I am helping Myself crush his enemies.

Me: awsome.

God:Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me: do u like slipknot?

God:What is not to like about it?

Me: i knew it.

God:How did you know?

Me: what do u eat?

God:God eats wine and bread.

Me: do u like pizza?

God:Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.

Me: lol

God:I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me: yes, well i have to go.

God:Give me a break. How about that. See you later, Marko. Nice chatting with you.

Me: aight

God:The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about SLIPKNOT. Try being more or less specific.

Me: sure.