That's me in the corner

You can file this under 'heretic'. If someone would ask me if I believe in god, I would reply 'yes'. But...my faith in that being has rapidly diminished after some events past. Yes, I do believe that there are things in this world that science can't explain, and a supreme, sentient entity maybe one of them. But it doesn't necessarily mean that he/she/it should care about us.

I feel that I need to take it upon myself to make my life work, and not waste time praying, because from what I can see, it hasn't really done anything for me. It's been more apparent that it's nothing but a psychological crutch I can do away with. Anything I've done to improve my life is credited to my own efforts, and not anyone else. Why is it that if something good happens, it's by *his* doing? And when it hits the fan, *he* can wash his hands clean of it? It violates the good samaritan principle by just standing by and watch it go bad for all of us.

It scares me to think that anyone I knew would think less of me after reading this. I'll still be same person, one who chooses to live a moral life and not step on anyone's toes...just like before, but god is out of the picture.

This whole thing reminds of a scene from the film 'Contact':

PALMER:
Dr. Arroway. Would you consider yourself a spiritual person?

ELLIE:
I don't really understand the point of the question. I consider myself a moral person.

CHAIRWOMAN:
I'm sure we all agree that is the case, but I think what Mr. Joss is in fact asking is...

PALMER:
Do you believe in God, Dr. Arroway?

ELLIE:
As a scientist I rely on imperical evidence, and in this matter, I don't believe that there is data either way.

CHAIRWOMAN:
So your answer would in fact be that you don't believe in God?

ELLIE:
I - I just don't understand the relevance of the question.